Well, the infamous due date has come and gone and the baby is still on the inside. I guess in some ways I shouldn’t really be surprised. I think the only time I have been on time for something in my entire life is my birth (I was a week early). Since that time, I am usually a couple minutes late at minimum. My husband says it has something to do with my Myers Briggs Personality Type (Myers & Briggs Foundation). Probably more importantly the P part of my type (ENFP) which is Perceiving. Perceiving means you stay open to new ideas, but my husband says it is usually people who are so open to things they don’t always follow through or show up when they say they will because they have a better offer. However, for my baby, what could be a better offer than hanging out with my husband and me? So now, we are in the wait game at least until next week to see if he will make an appearance on his own or if our doctor will have to pull the trigger. Until that time, I am set to continue working on my novel, which didn’t go anywhere yesterday because I was at school and it is hard to sit at a computer in a room full of people and try to think stuff up. I am behind in my word count already (at around 3500ish) right now. I hope to be at 6000 by the end of the day. I also think it is hard to write a novel without any planning in place. I went into this experience with a really loose idea and four characters. From that, I am attempting to build a plot. I think I know in the end the amount of material I have will probably be turned into a really short novella or short story, but I think getting all the writing out will be helpful. I also have my writer’s group this Saturday (again, if I don’t have a baby), so I need to write something else for that. I am not in a space to bring the novel anywhere just yet. And while doing it and planning to be at this writer’s group, hope it throws my son off completely so he will want to be born before it all goes down. Who knows? Otherwise, I’ll be driving down a lot of bumpy roads this weekend and trying all the other old wives’ tales before it is all through. Please send good vibes. We’d like to get this guy out on the outside before the second snow of the season!
Tag Archives: Pregnancy
Obsession…Passion…Compulsion?
Twice in the last two weeks, people have happened upon my collection of pens that I have actually organized by color in my basement (for those of you who know me, this may have been some weird nesting thing for baby otherwise I would have just chucked them in random places). I probably have more than three hundred pens of all sorts of shapes, sizes, styles, and colors (including mechanical pencils). My husband believes that I have a problem, which given the amount of time someone uses a pen might be accurate, but to me I see it more as a passion or maybe obsession. I can’t remember when this all started, but I do know that it is very hard to stop. I feel compelled to check out pens that folks are using and I am extremely jealous when they have cool pens that I know will be hard or impossible to find. I feel comfort in my pens and in the aisles of Staples or other office supply companies. After a bad day, I will go and buy a new set of pens to take home and use as if the world is now a better place. Other folks eat chocolate, buy shoes, or chain saw so I know that I am not the only one who has such a compulsion (or comforting habit), but I am also fascinated at the type of compulsion it is. My friend, who also loves pens, says it has something to do with being a writer which I think is partially right, but still I think there is something else behind it. I know that I am a freak about my pens and it is almost impossible to explain to other people. At meetings or conferences, I now carry cheap Bic or Papermate pens (which I also love to use too, but are easier to replace) because inevitably someone forgets a pen and I have had too many people walk off with the good ones. If I lend you a good pen, it is likely I am watching your every move and trying to figure out how to casually ask you for it back if you forget. At doctor’s offices or business, I look to see if they have samples of pens (either of their business or their drug companies), I love the feel of these ball point pens. I have been known to subtly sign my check or receipt and put it in my pocket or bag. I am aware that these behaviors are quirky and my husband jokes that I am in a twelve step program for pens starting with the first step of admitting I do have a problem, but do I? There are plenty of people out their who have bigger problems with drugs, alcohol, violence. How can my pens hold up to that? I have improved slightly in this area, however. My husband suggested a trade when I was three months pregnant (I think fearful I would squander our diaper money on Uni-Ball pens). He asked that if I felt like buying a pen I would instead buy something we would need for the baby. Of course, this idea backfired in his face when I would come home with piles of socks, clothes, etc. that seemed necessary or rather a replacement for my pens. But I am better, it has been months (partly due to bed rest) since I have stepped in a Staples and I can’t remember the last time I actually purchased a pen (okay, I did take one from birthing class because it was one of those cool free drug company pens — minor slip). As I sit one day away from my due date, I think I know why I have been able to curb my habit. Although I haven’t met him yet, I have found something I love much great than plastic, metal, and ink.
Sleep Deprivation of a Different Sort
Just yesterday, my friend wrote about sleep deprivation because of her newborn son (Five Facts About Sleep Deprivation). Although I am sure that I will be in her same boat soon enough, I have a different type of sleep issue going on. I have always been someone who enjoys a good night’s sleep. In fact, there was a time my husband told folks it was a miracle I could stay up past 9:30. However, since being pregnant I have found myself in a couple different sleep predicaments. The first one I had was waking up at 2:30 in the morning wide awake and not being able to fall back to sleep until 5:30 or 6. I only had this sleep issue three or four times and it was usually on a Saturday night and always after eating Ben and Jerry’s Coffee Coffee Buzz Buzz Buzz (Although I gave up coffee and any caffeine during pregnancy, I found myself drawn to this ice cream flavor whenever I was in town). Once I decided no more Buzz Buzz Buzz for me, I went back to my sleep filled nights (albeit with some of the weirdest dreams, but that is a story for another day). My new sleep issue has come on in the last week or so. It started when I discovered heartburn or acid reflux. Having not been exposed to this my entire pregnancy, I found it extremely unfortunate that I should get this in my last couple weeks, especially at night. I started not being able to fall asleep at a normal bed time. My situation is like this. I go to bed at a reasonable hour (eleven or so) and attempt to get comfortable. I listen to my dogs and husband snore and envy their ability to be out cold in less than five minutes. Then, I get up and head out to the living room to read, write, or just sit until I finally feel tired enough. This usually happens between 2:30 and 3:00. I would blame this new sleep habit on my naps during the day, but it happens even on days when I don’t get an opportunity to nap at all. My husband thinks it is my body preparing for the sleep deprivation that will occur once my son joins us on the outside, but I can’t be sure. I guess that I will find out soon enough if my practice and training for sleep deprivation pay off, but I have a sneaky suspicion that these are two completely different events. Until that time, I will continue with my trend until the next one comes along. Maybe the next one will involve being able to sleep more than two consecutive hours without getting up to use the bathroom. That would be dreamy!
Our “Little” NHL Player…
Little, our baby…no. I guess it is probably my fault that since I decided I wanted to have children and get married I made the standing joke that I would marry someone taller than me to give my offspring a fighting chance. Standing 4’10″, I thought this was a legitimate idea and married someone 6’3″. I didn’t realize that genetics work better than anticipated. No. We haven’t had the baby yet. I did have what I thought was some pre-labor contraction stuff going on, but it turned out to be nothing — just Braxton Hicks. Instead, at our doctor’s appointment yesterday, we learned that our baby is really going to be born as a full fledged NHL hockey player ready to sign with the San Jose Sharks at a moment’s notice (Sorry, Carl and I have switched over from the Bruins every since Joe Thornton left the team — plus Mike Grier plays for San Jose and I did go to middle school with him). Due to measurements, our baby is around 8+ pounds right now with an estimate foot size of 3 inches. Don’t worry because our doctor says that the bone development is done with the baby so any weight he gains from here on in is fat related and well you can just squeeze that out. Look people, I don’t know about you, but I really don’t see this whole experience working like a tube of toothpaste where if you have trouble you just fold the tube down. Regardless, we are very lucky because our baby is extremely cute based on the 3-D pics we saw yesterday. His nose is not mine for all of you who thought that might be the case. My husband recognized it as his nose as a baby, as well as his father’s nose. The baby does have the cutest little chubby cheeks. Me, well, I am still plugging along. Although my new ailment includes what I would call swimmer’s ear…only I am stuck in the basement in the guest room not on an island beach while insulation is blown into my attic. Regardless, I am holding out that the baby arrives like 3% of all other babies on his due date. I figure one friend went about two weeks early recently and another went two week late so I am destined to actually be on time for once in my life.
The Perfect Number
28 is a perfect number. At least, I am taking my husband’s word on this one — after all he is a math teacher. Tomorrow is October 28th. I think it sounds like a great day to have a baby. As would a teacher in my husband’s department who chose it as his day for the pool (yes, I’m not above betting on this whole situation especially if I get 50% of the profits or rather my baby does — it’s the same reason many people are surprised I let my husband play in so many golf tournaments, but when he leaves $100 cash on the table after winning it works). However, I am still trying to convince my baby that he would like to leave the womb tomorrow. Instead, he chooses to have major dance parties to the amniotic fluid. As he continues to kick out the jams, I realize that his foot is getting bigger. Last ultrasound, the technician unofficially declared that he is probably about eight pounds by now. If babies really do gain a half pound a week, I could be in for some trouble starting a week or two from now. All in all, I am thinking maybe he’ll pop out on Thursday since that is the day the insulation guys and appliance guys are coming to work on our house. Until then, I will continue my job as bed rest goddess.
“You’re just falling apart…”
I suppose a doctor’s appointment that starts with this type of comment might be construed as a bad one, but for me it is actually the norm. As many of you know, I am still plugging along with my mandatory rest period or bed rest until the little bugger decides to join us, but what you don’t know is that I am a poster child for bed rest. Yes, many of you who know that sitting still for me is like deciding to climb Everest are probably chuckling to yourself, but it is the truth. According to my doctor, patients usually don’t improve as much as I have. In fact, I believe his exact words were he is “pleasantly surprised” at how well I am doing. I now know that my husband and I need to start playing Powerball because clearly I have found my calling in life. Of course, what I haven’t mentioned is the second ear infection I have in the last month or so, the perpetual itchy feeling I have during the evenings on every inch of my skin, and my newfound athlete’s foot. Athlete’s foot! How can you get a problem that clearly in it’s title hints that you have to actually be active when you are required to sit on the couch for most of your day. I think that is a good example of irony. In reality, I have it because my little toes (oh, how I had such cute feet prior to this pregnancy) are swollen like the little hot dogs you have at cocktail parties and no matter how much I wash them they just can’t get air. This might be the saddest thing you have heard all week — even more tragic than Madonna and Guy Ritchie’s breakup. On a positive note, my dogs and I are enjoying our new toasty, warm house compliments of our new wood stove. Having not grown up with a wood stove, I didn’t know just how homey it makes a house feel. It is 73 degrees in my house. Just two days ago when we were still using oil heat it never cracked 66 degrees. I am now ready for the full blast of winter. Now all we need is our baby. And yes, for all of you out there, I am talking to him about how much fun it would be to join us out in the world complete with me saying “Get out of my belly!” I think just as I am now convinced I never need to leave the warmth of my new wood stove heat infused home my son feels he doesn’t need to leave the warmth of my uterus. I’ll have to continue to work on that as his estimated arrival time is right around the corner. Until then, I’ll just continue to be the champion in the world of bed rest.
She was a fast machine…
It’s funny what things will make you break your rules in life. My husband is very anti-box stores. So much so, I think that is why he has agreed to try cloth diapers. I think after countless folks have told him that either a membership to Costco or a weekly visit to Walmart is in his future if he wants to be able to afford diapers he thought cloth diapers sounded pretty darn good (Of course, maybe this is his attempt to humor the woman who is ready to have his baby and can’t leave the house). His anti-box store values are one of the many reasons I married him. He is firm about supporting local businesses and great about building connections. This is why I found it hilarious that in his laundry list of errands he ran in town today he included stopping at Walmart. I almost spit out my cranberry juice until I heard the reason. AC/DC just released a new album after a bunch of years (who knew Angus Young was still around even) and the only place selling it is the man or should I say Walmart. As I sit on my couch, which now smells for some reason, I find secret pleasure in knowing that even the strongest men and women have moments where they trade their soul to grab a little rock-n-roll. Me, I’m just gearing up to shower since I’m allowed to go into town this afternoon to buy an external burner so we will be able to share DVD’s of our baby (who by the way I am ready to welcome into the world at any moment) and a Pee-Pee Teepee to protect against our future son’s possible volcanic flow while we change diapers. Oh, the exciting life I lead!
Post Pregnancy Visions
After my morning snack of Reduced Fat Oreos and a check of my work’s email, I find myself back on the couch with the dogs entering the mid-day lull. However, while I am thinking of what to do next (read a book, watch t.v., write an email) I remember my thoughts from earlier as I waited to fall back asleep after my husband left for work. Most times as I wait for sleep recently, I visualize the labor and delivery wing of the hospital. Today, as I waited for sleep, I found myself visualizing something completely different. In my pre-sleep moments, I was running and training to complete a marathon. I saw myself running through the dirt roads of my neighborhood in preparation to beat my time from previous years. Of course, in these visions I am lean, fit, trim, and muscular — even more so than prior to my pregnancy. I believe there is music playing in the backdrop something inspiring like “Don’t Stop Believin’” by Journey or the Rocky Theme. In addition to running, I am also seeing myself training for a triathlon by biking. Biking? — I am petrified of falling off half the time. However, in my visions, I am cruising along on a beautiful road bike as confident as ever. At the end of the marathon or triathlon that I am completing are my husband and son cheering me on. Although I miss running terribly or exercise of any type at this point, I think my dreams are a signal that I am ready to welcome my baby into this world. Maybe the jogging stroller in the garage triggered me into wanting to get moving with the baby. Who knows. All I know at this point is it would be damn near impossible to run anywhere with the pressure I have on my bladder and hips, as well as the large bump keeping me off balance. Until that time, I guess I will remain on my couch waiting for my husband’s return so I can venture out into the world for my one trip out for the day. If I am lucky, I can do the ten minute walk around the front yard that now takes me twenty.
First Frost and Cabin Fever
After a lovely car ride through the hollow yesterday, I am back sequestered in my home. I feel a little bit like I am on jury duty–only the verdict isn’t guilty or not guilty it’s baby or no baby. We are still in the no baby phase. Today I snuck out to sit on my deck so I could watch my dogs romp through the yard in their orange attire for hunting season. While looking through the empty trees to the road above our house, I noticed a lone bumblebee resting on the railing. He seemed slower than the ones I saw buzzing around my Bee Balm and Ecineacha this summer. I realized that the crispy, white lawn this morning was a signal that his days are limited. In addition, a signal that I am never going to be able to leave the house again since my flip flops are the only shoes that fit! No worries since I am not supposed to leave the couch anyway. During this couch sitting time, I have begun going through the boxes of my books that have sat in our garage since moving in two years ago. It is thrilling to open plastic containers to find treasures that you don’t remember you have. I found my entire collection of Richard Brautigan books that I collected during college (partly, I believe, because I had a crush on someone who really like the author). In the mix of it all was a favorite children’s book, Jenny Learns a Lesson, that I loved. Also, I found my stash of New Zealand authors collected during my time abroad (Sam Hunt, Witi Ihimaera, Janet Frame, etc.). As I set up this collection of books on my adult bookcases (ones bought at an actual furniture store and not Target), I feel as if I will finally have the library that I dream about. A good thing since I have no idea when my baby is coming and I need some new material to read over the course of the next couple weeks. I think ahead to the week and realize the next time I can leave the house is Wednesday as I drive into town for the next check up. Luckily, I will pull out some books to read aloud to my dogs and baby. It is never to early to start exposing them to authors like Hawthorne, Woolf, and Steinbeck or poets like Kinnell, Gluck, or Frost. I guess in someways the first frost of this morning is a prequel to the first Frost my son might hear over the course of the next couple weeks. Both are good things because they welcome something new in the air.
Prepping for the Big Day
In some ways, the big day for me is twofold. The first big day is the birth of my child, which should happen some time in the next couple weeks. After yesterday’s appointment, I’ve been told continued bed rest and not a lot of movement. This, of course, means that the couch and I are becoming even closer friends and my dogs are wondering if I will ever leave. The other big day is the start of NaNoWriMo on November 1st. At this point, I am thinking the baby will come before the start of this event, but you never can tell. I have begun to think about my novel mostly with characters and setting. I figure the conflict and plot will come after I find some great characters to get the story out there. My friend Hev is using the “Snowflake Method” to help outline her novel (http://flymom.wordpress.com/). In my life, I have never really been a planner so that seems almost too structured for me. Instead, I am using exercises from a book I really like to help plant seeds before I attempt to grow the tree. John Dufresne wrote the book The Lie That Tells A Truth: A Guide to Writing Fiction. It has great chapters, as well as exercises to help you write fiction. I used a kernel from his book to do a little writing today. He mentions that Anthony Burgess (A Clockwork Orange) had a style where he would choose ten words at random from a dictionary. These words would then guide his novel. According to Dufresne, this practice is called aleatory (from the Latin aleatorius, from aleator, gambler, from alea, game of chance, die). I didn’t dive in with choosing ten words, but today I went to The American Heritage Dictionary (4th Edition) to find one word to spark my creativity. By chance, my word was devious. From this word, I wrote the start to a possible character in my novel. I only wrote for twenty minutes or so, but I am hoping this start will spark something worth continuing in November. Many recommend using The Oxford English Dictionary, but I don’t have $300 to spend on a dictionary at this moment. However, Dufresne recommends using a dictionary that has the etymologies of the words. After today’s writing exercise, I am feeling more confident about my ability to actually write a novel during the month of November. Equally, I am overly excited to meet my son in the upcoming weeks as well!
